Emperor Evito

When Evo Morales (the current president of Bolivia) was campaigning last year, I heard a lot of otherwise intelligent people say that they thought/hoped that he couldn't do any worse than the previous clowns who had messed up the country. I continually (at every opportunity) pointed out Evito's association with and affinity for Fidel Castro and Hugo Chavez and surmized that once elected he'd take the same steps as his idols and would make himself the dictator for life of Bolivia. Unfortunately, the majority of Bolivians couldn't believe that it could happen here. In fact, in searching the internet, I only found one writer who predicted that Evo would become a fascist dictator, and even he thought that it wouldn't be so so bad. (See: http://www.bestsyndication.com/2005/WIlliam-WOLFRUM/123005_dictator.htm.) Unfotunately, the past three months has been proof that in fact, things could get worse, even in Bolivia. But now we’re finally starting to see some reaction to all of the wild and crazy things our Evito ("wish I were Perón") has been doing these past three months.

First, we had the UN party (headed by my look-alike) come out and declare that Evito is a fascist along the same lines as Hitler and Mussolini. They presented the following four proofs:

1. Mythical Empire: Hitler has his “Third Reich”, Mussolini the “Roman Empire”, and Evo has the “Aymara Empire.” (See the attached photo of Evito in his Aymara Emperor outfit - this emperor definitely needs a new groove.)

2. Racism: Hitler has his superior Aryan race, Mussolini the Roman patricians, and Evo has his Aymaras. In fact, he’s declared that his ambassadors to other countries have to speak Aymara, which should be really helpful in such places as France, Germany, Spain, etc. (he hasn’t been able to scare up an ambassador to the US yet.)

3. Cult of personality: The Germans had “Der Fuehrer”, the Italians “El Duche”, and now Bolivia has “Evito.” Since Hugo Chavez of Cuba claims to be the reincarnation of Simon Boliviar, I keep wondering whose spirit Evo is going to channel – Antonio de Sucre would be an obvious choice, if he were to ask my opinion.

4. Mob enforcement: Hitler riled up his mobs to burn books and loot Jewish businesses. Mussolini had the same. Evito has his mobs of ignorant savages to blockade highways to drive out non-MAS elected officials, shut down US-financed clinics in El Alto, tear down Habitat for Humanity constructed homes, drive out private coffee growers in Caranavi, bankrupt financially shaky but still functioning private airlines, shut down all foreign financed development projects (including rural electrification), drive out all Non-Governmental Organizations. I can’t wait to see what he does next with his hooligans.

Second the Latin American Federation of Magistrates, centered in Panama, of which every country in Latin America is a member except Venezuela, declared Evito to be a “dictator” for his efforts to overthrow and undermine the independent judicial system in Bolivia. Ever since taking office, Evito has been attacking the judges in Bolivia, especially trying to get the Supreme Court judges to resign so he can appoint his own boys.

Third, the presidents of Peru and Colombia have taken Evito to task for calling them “traitors” for having signed the Free Trade Agreements (TLC) with the US. They gently reminded him that each country is sovereign and can sign treaties with whomever is most convenient for that country and that Evito should act more like a president and less like some rabble rouser from the opposition.